A Farce in Two Acts.  2 M / 5 F

Tad and Rowena Tuttle reside on the "good side" of Columbus, Georgia's ritzy "Lakebottom" neighborhood, and pride themselves on a very proper existence.  Like any upwardly mobile couple, they're desperate to get their daughter Portia into Brookstone, the only school worth mentioning.

A chance encounter with the head of the Parents' Association leads to the opportunity to garner their support at a hastily-planned cocktail party, where everything must be perfect.

But mere moments before their honored guests arrive, Rowena's mother arrives from Colquitt in a broken-down pickup with a mutant farm animal in the back, and then the ransom note is discovered:  Portia's been kidnapped.